Cleaning Out Closets...Literally!

I have never derived such joy from cleaning out closets as I did today. I started with Logan's as it was time to prune out the summer clothes and bring in the fall. I always become very sentimental when cleaning his things out. It just signifies that my little baby is growing up - and much, much too fast at that. I suppose that hanging on to his "baby things" will keep a part of that memory alive. The memories, however, are kept safe in my heart. The "baby things" only contribute to cluttering his closet. Sooo...on with the pruning.

Next, since I was on a roll, I decided to move on to my closets. NOT something I really wanted to tackle but hey, might as well. My closets are always disasters as I tend to hold on to things "just in case"...just in case I get fat, just in case I get skinny, just in case they're in style again. The agenda for today was to get rid of the "just in case" clothes. Just in case they're in style again - ummmmm, not a chance. And if they do become in style again, that's one style I'm NOT going to revisit. Just in case I get fat - not on your life!!! Holding on to my "fat" clothes only suggests that there is a possibility that it could one day happen again. No way, not, never!!! Not even going to allow myself the tiniest of openings for that to happen. And, the best part by far, just in case I get skinny. Just in case I get skinny...uh huh - DIDN'T HAVE TO GET RID OF THEM THIS TIME!!! My "skinny" clothes were actually keepers this time. One by one I plucked out the "fat" clothes, examining each piece before depositing into a heap on the floor.

It really only occurred to me today just what 24 pounds is...it isn't just a number on the scale or clothes that are two sizes smaller. It's self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth. It is a reminder that I can do anything I set my mind to.

And oh the irony of cleaning out closets...a little boy getting bigger, growing up, learning, and discovering so much about his world. And a mommy getting smaller, growing up, learning, and discovering so much about her world.

Tantrums & Tattoos

Tan·trum
Pronunciation: \ˈtan-trəm\
Function: noun
Etymology: origin unknown
Date: 1714
:a fit of bad temper

Bad Temper
Function: noun
:a persisting angry mood

To say that my precious little muffinhead has been in a "persistent angry mood" thus eliciting "tantrums" sounds so, well...clinical. I think the more appropriate definition would be:

"Creature of apparent human species measuring approximately 30 pounds in weight and 36 inches in height. Outside appearance is almost angelic yet very misleading. May instantaneously, and without provocation, sprout horns from the cranium and a forked tail from the gluteus maximus. Take every precaution necessary to avoid hurling insults and flying spit. Full body armor may be indicated to avoid sudden and uncontrollable movements from said creature's arms, legs, and head. Hot Wheels traveling at the rate of 35 mph from across creature's domain may, and will, occur on a usual basis. Creature will also engage his opponent in biting, scratching, pinching, and hair pulling. Loud, persisting, high-pitched, gutteral noises are also a tactic used by said creature to break down and eventually destroy his enemy."

Yep...that about sums it up around my house these days. Lil pumpkin has just been such a joy the past few weeks. Yet through all the insults, spit, fists in the face, kicks in the shins, Hot Wheels to the head, and clumps of missing hair, I consider myself so very blessed for I know just how much my son really loves me...after all, "You always hurt the ones you love most!"

And on a much lighter note...in all the chaos of this thing called my life, little man came into my office and announced to me, with such pride and excitement in his voice, "Look Mommy...I have new tattoos!"

09-11-01....09-11-08

Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try,
No hell below us, above us only sky,
Imagine all the people, living for today.
Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for, and no religion too,
Imagine all the people, living life in peace.
You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one,
I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will be as one.
Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger, a brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people, sharing all the world.
You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one,
I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will live as one.

~ John LennonSeptember 11, 2001

It is approximately 6:10 a.m. when I am awakened by the irritating, incessant ring of my telephone. Who could possibly be calling at such an early hour? What could be so important that it can't wait until a reasonable hour? Still half asleep, I put an end to the irritating ringing and in the most pleasant voice I can muster, I politely answer, "Hello."

"Tia, this is mom. Wake up. Something happened. We're being attacked. The World Trade Centers have been hit by airplanes. Get up and turn on the news."
I got out of bed and immediately turned the news on. Instant fear filled my entire being. What is happening? How could this happen? Who did this? Why? Who's next? And when?

The lives of 301,139,947 Americans would forever be changed, some more proufoundly than others and in ways they never imagined possible. How, as a nation, could we ever find the strength to make it through the darkness?

September 11, 2008

As I visit the many memorials, tributes, and web sites created to commemorate the lives of those lost on that fateful day seven years ago...as I read about the individuals who risked their lives to save another only to lose theirs in the end...as I view pictures of the children left without a father, a mother, or both...my heart still aches. People who started their day like any other - work, school, shopping, a walk around the park, a cross-country trip to Los Angeles or San Francisco - with the thought not even entering their mind that it would be the last time they would ever see their family again.

Today, seven years later, I hold my breath at the sound of an airplane high above and ask myself, What has happened? How could this have happened? Who did this? Why? Who's next? And when?

To all those lost on that fateful day, to all the heroes who so selfishly gave the ultimate sacrifice in the line of duty, and to those still fighting for our safety, security and freedom, I send to you my respect, my thoughts, and my prayers.