Wednesday, July 23, 2008

You Mean It's NOT Menopause? ~ Blog Assignment #1

I remember the day well...

After weeks of feeling "blah," bloated, and "just not right," I decided to take a pregnancy test. After all, it had been quite a while since Aunt Flo came for her monthly visit. No worries...I was certain it was just all a part of the much-dreaded perimenopause - after all, I was no spring chicken.

I ventured to the nearest Fred Meyer and picked up the ever-populer EPT test and headed home. I read the directions (so simple even a beginniner could do it) and followed them to a tee...

1. Remove the EPT pregnancy test stick from its foil packet just prior to use;
2. Remove the purple cap to expose the absorbant tip;
3. Hold the test stick by its thumb grip. Point the absorbant tip downward;
4. Place the absorbant tip in the urine flow for just 5 seconds;
5. Place the test stick on a flat surface with the windows facing up for at least 2 minutes.

Hmmmmm....two minutes - no problem. After all, I was no spring chicken right?

WHAT THE??? This thing has got to be wrong. Are you kidding me? Maybe my vision is starting to fail me as well. Just at that moment, there was a knock at my front door. Impeccable timing my dearest Jill (a registered nurse). Shoving the stick in her face, I begged her to reiterate my failing vision theory. "What does this look like to you?" "Well, that would be a plus sign. I'd say your pregnant." Not the answer I had been hoping for. Maybe her vision was failing too.

To my astonishment, my perimenopausal symptoms turned out to be something much more than I would have ever expected. That emptiness that I longed to fill but had forever eluded me was to soon be a thing of the past.

My greatest accomplishment, my most treasured gift, my very reason for existence was scheduled to arrive in June!

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